Friday, 25 July 2014

If I stay

I decided to read this book because of the movie trailer, starring Chloe Grace Moretz. It got me thinking and it looks promising. I got too curious. I needed to know what Mia was going to choose.

It's been a good while since I got this emotional while reading a book (nope not even when I was reading the Fault in our Stars. John Green put too much good humor into that book for me to be able to get emotional), which is why it got the honor of going on my favorites list. Not because it's perfect, far from it. There were tons of parts that put me off. For one the book is way too short, only 250 pages with big letters. I read through it in a day and that is not what I want when reading a book. Especially a book this good. I needed it to go on (which is where 'Where she Went' comes in).

Yet it takes a lot to make me sob uncontrollably. So badly that my boyfriend dropped what he was doing and rushed over to me to ask me what in gods name had happened and for him to have to rock me back and forth for a while to make me stop crying. I was a mess.

'If I stay' was an eye opener. Not while I was reading it. It was not like I was learning a lesson slowly. It happened all at once as I reached the last page. It was a flashback, not in the sense that something this terrible ever happened to me, but because I understand why she felt she had to choose. It shocked me. Woke me up. Scared me.

Six years ago I felt the same way, for no apparent reason, not a reason close to as big as this one. I was bullied. Not only in High School but way before that. I never understood why and I never found a way to deal with it properly. I made stupid choices and have forever reminders carved into my skin. I pushed a lot of people away.

Unfortunately, tons of teens feel this way. They put themselves in front of a choice, the same choice Mia feels she has to make. Stay, or let go. Sadly, a few (way too many) of these people choose to let go of their lives and leave their loved ones behind for whatever reason. It doesn't really matter what the reason is.

Mia is a teenager, about to embark upon a long life full of choices. Julliard and New York, Adam and Oregon. But all that changes when those choices no longer matter. When only one choice remains. She has to choose to stay or leave a place and a life she feels she no longer belongs in. A life that is forever changed because of one winter morning. In the course of 24 hours her life (literally) flashes before her eyes and she relives several memories. Not all of them happy, but all of them memorable and important. She also views her future, things that could be and would be if she chooses to stay. She lists the pro's and con's in her mind, even if it is not consciously. What choice would you make?

As for the movie, I probably will write a review on that too. Just to state the differences and whether or not it was able to grasp me the same way the book did. While reading this book I was listening to 'Say something' by A great Big World and Christina Aguilera. Yes I listened to it on repeat over and over, it was the song they featured in the trailers and it captured exactly what Mia and Adam are feeling during this book. I hope you will check it out, the movie and/or the book. It will be worth your while. I'm still astonished by it.

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